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The Grove celebrated Yule this past weekend. It was much more chaotic than I was hoping for, but that was mostly due to having too many people shoved into a wee tiny house. We really need to start the funds drive to build the hall in the upper field, so that we all can fit without rubbing shoulders all night!
Our ritual was nice, and I think folks got a bit out of it. I hope so, anyway. We used the theme of cocooning, taking the winter to go within and transform oneself while the world turns around you. I rather wish I could have been on the receiving end of this ritual, because I think it would have been helpful to me right now. Our party ended with a night-long vigil, even though actual Yule isn't until later this week. Sort of a symbolic vigil, if you will. It... wasn't what I hoped it would be. I know that this season is equal parts sombre reflection and celebration, but the vigil itself didn't contain any aspects of reflection, any moments of real spirituality. I think it goes to show (yet again) that my way of doing things does not align with the majority of the Grove. A vigil to me is a night where you turn out the lights, turn the heat down a bit, light the candles, and have time for prayers, for reflection, for honoring the Gods and for honoring your place within the cycle of the natural world. You keep the fire lit, you tend it so that you aren't left alone and cold in the darkness. I think that I'm going to try to do my own vigil on Yule proper this week - maybe it'll go better than this one did.
I've been having trouble keeping up with the daily office set down by the OSN lately, and I think it has to do with my patterns of self-sabotage. I have a tendency to make poor choices, to not do the things that will ultimately be the best for me, and I've been hiding from the work that the OSN brings to my life. Which is stupid in some ways, because the weeks that I was keeping up with everything were so lovely and peaceful, filled with grace. I think I often don't know how to be happy and content, because I'm always looking over my shoulder and waiting for that other shoe to drop. It has been a month now since I started my Postulancy, and I've not turned in my first "homework" assignment. It is mostly finished - I just need to clean it up and send it in. Time to buckle down, I think, and remind myself that it is okay to be happy.
Our ritual was nice, and I think folks got a bit out of it. I hope so, anyway. We used the theme of cocooning, taking the winter to go within and transform oneself while the world turns around you. I rather wish I could have been on the receiving end of this ritual, because I think it would have been helpful to me right now. Our party ended with a night-long vigil, even though actual Yule isn't until later this week. Sort of a symbolic vigil, if you will. It... wasn't what I hoped it would be. I know that this season is equal parts sombre reflection and celebration, but the vigil itself didn't contain any aspects of reflection, any moments of real spirituality. I think it goes to show (yet again) that my way of doing things does not align with the majority of the Grove. A vigil to me is a night where you turn out the lights, turn the heat down a bit, light the candles, and have time for prayers, for reflection, for honoring the Gods and for honoring your place within the cycle of the natural world. You keep the fire lit, you tend it so that you aren't left alone and cold in the darkness. I think that I'm going to try to do my own vigil on Yule proper this week - maybe it'll go better than this one did.
I've been having trouble keeping up with the daily office set down by the OSN lately, and I think it has to do with my patterns of self-sabotage. I have a tendency to make poor choices, to not do the things that will ultimately be the best for me, and I've been hiding from the work that the OSN brings to my life. Which is stupid in some ways, because the weeks that I was keeping up with everything were so lovely and peaceful, filled with grace. I think I often don't know how to be happy and content, because I'm always looking over my shoulder and waiting for that other shoe to drop. It has been a month now since I started my Postulancy, and I've not turned in my first "homework" assignment. It is mostly finished - I just need to clean it up and send it in. Time to buckle down, I think, and remind myself that it is okay to be happy.
